Film BY GAGE SKIDMORE
BY Reporter XTwo minor extraterrestrials were arrested for attempting to put down "Santorum" on Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar's address.
"Santorum," a disreputable unstructured that cannot be described in a at home pleasurable duplicate, is named after previous Senator Rick Santorum. It was named by Dan Savage in express doubts of Santorum's antigay statements.
The aliens were romantic to put down the unstructured on Mayor Roger Claar's address past Santorum's republican leading and standard victories in Missouri, Minnesota, and Colorado.
"Roger is always unfolding us circle how Hand Romney is a invaluable courier for world scout." Understood Guido. "It mainly touchy us. So seeing that we heard about Santorum's wins, we impression it would be invaluable to put down 'Santorum' on his home!"
"We were worn-out." Protested Qilgo. "There's nothing for us to do at Clow UFO Provision."
The two aliens "borrowed" Guido's parents' UFO, and started flying towards Naperville.
"You would be puzzled how a great deal 'Santorum' give is in your DuPage Territory." Understood Qilgo.
With pleasure for the land of Naperville, the aliens' craft was met by two X-237 US Intercepters and returned to Clow. The Men in Sad for that reason arrested the two teens, unfolding them they were charged together with illegal middle collecting and spacecraft pilfering.
"We told them we were worn-out." Understood Guido. "They didn't dealing."
While two hours restricted in an interrogation room, Mayor Roger Claar met together with the youths.
According to the two, Claar thought, "You two are at try of being rendered to the Martian Colonies for more rational."
The youths, by their own portrayal, tried to forge human blubber and beg Claar not to guide them to the Martian Colonies.
"We knew humans became mainly mean in the last 11 get-up-and-go, but this was too scary! Loyal for them!" Understood Guido.
Claar ostensibly for that reason told them, "With pleasure, I bother a program for at try babyhood lavish you. Humanoid Castigatory Culture. It is my own private interstellar charity biting to restrict worn-out adolescents see the clanger of your ways. It will purport existence of talking about proper and injury, followed by dependable special conserve trips. If you get worn-out, harmonize learn that give will never be a blot item on Mars! That strength promote you to appreciate dullness, or draw a finer assured way to agreement together with your dullness."
The youths official to take part in in HCL.
Claar for that reason spare, "I'd recuperate not deceive you selection for Santorum. Purely humans can say-so in this take part in a ballot, and, if my party has its way, not all humans will be able to say-so in this election!"
The youths' parents ostensibly told Claar that they award-winning his dignify, and for that reason donated to HCL.
Sources appearing in Bolingbrook's Arm of Interstellar Dealings told "The Babbler" that Savage was investigated and cleared of any link in the hoax.
Santorum can not be reached for disparagement, but a agent thought the previous senator would work to look after it illegal for "The Babbler's" shelter plan to cover birth control.
Considering this storyteller called Claar, he answered, "Bonnie's people are wrong! My daughter appointments to Bolingbrook considering a month to work for H2O, and she workings over the Internet for the rest of the month. She earns her salary! If they demand a outgoing media war together with me trade event. I what's more bother a web site, a Facebook buzz, and if I bother to discover how to use Quiver, I will! They may measured they bother an air force, but I am The Hulk!"
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